Just a grab bag of emotions today, but mostly good. I pulled my final all-nighter of the semester last evening. It’s crazy to think that in just four days’ time I will be somewhere else in the world for a very long three months. I have an aged world map that curls at the edges and the creases are delicate and the entire thing smells like the past. I want to hang it on the wall and poke pins into the places I’ve visited. I want to travel lightly this summer and make good money. I want to be reckless and be carefree and fall in love and write someone’s name in the sand. I want to write a letter to a dear friend and surprise them with a visit. I want to sit around a campfire by the lake with my closest friends and talk and laugh until the ashes glow red and orange and the marshmallows have all been roasted. I’ve been thinking very romantically lately.
I don’t think about you as often these days. I don’t feel my phone vibrate and hope it’s you asking me how I’m doing. I still check your facebook to know that you’re doing well, but I don’t get upset when we don’t talk for a day or two at a time. I don’t daydream about a future us or a past us or an us at all, really. But I will miss you when I’m hundreds of miles away.
I want to listen to poppy music and enjoy the life that has treated me so well. I want to feel the cat purring against my leg in the middle of the night and see the stars shining outside and swim in the middle of the night. I want to feel the breeze on my face and maybe fly a cheap kite and eat an ice cream cone and ride a bike. I want to see your face and your face and your face, too, because I’ve hardly seen it since high school. I want to bask in nostalgia and go on adventures and feel good and enjoy the world.