anchors aweigh

So here’s the quick and dirty (actually just long and unorganized) rundown on what’s been going on in my life the past month or so.

I dropped out of school. Hopefully not permanently, but it was something I had to do. Basically, an extreme curveball was thrown at my life. I was more or less promised in-state tuition at school this year, which would have been easily covered by federal loans. After I got to school this fall, I enrolled and regularly attended classes. I had my RA job set in place to cover living expenses and then some. I was making friends and working hard all the way up until the day I got my bill for the semester. I was being charged out of state tuition (roughly $11,000 more than in-state). When I went to the office of financial aid and scholarships, I was told that the information I was given regarding receiving in-state tuition was wrong, and that I would have to come up with the money to cover the difference or withdraw from classes for the semester. Withdrawing from classes would cause me to have to leave my job in the dorms, which would render me jobless, homeless, and hopeless.

I’ve since then relocated to Dallas and am staying with friends free-of-charge. Although sleeping in the corner of a living room on an air mattress is a less-than-ideal situation, I’m extremely grateful for the luck that I’ve had. I’ve had a roof over my head and received no pressure to find any other housing arrangements until next semester, when I plan to officially apply for Texas residency and therefore receive in-state tuition.

I found work as soon as I could. In retrospect, it was a terrible experience, but I worked for a rich old man for two weeks filing paperwork for an insurance settlement over a burned down property and doing some light housework. He was demeaning and irritable, and he had bad breath and an anger problem. I made a surprising amount of money during those two weeks though, so I quit and kept looking for a more stable employer.

A few weeks ago, I ate lunch with my roommate and a group of people who go to his church and explained the situation to some of them during the conversation. One woman asked for my resume and told me that she worked for a major corporation, had a high-standing position in her division, and would see if she could find me work. She did. A few days later I received a call that I would be hired as a temporary full-time employee for her company with great pay. I accepted the job and if all goes according to plan, I’ll be working until at least January, if not later.

Despite my life literally falling to pieces in the course of a few days, I’m amazed how things work out in the end. I was downtrodden and defeated this time last month, with a dim outlook ok the future. In that time I’ve managed to find a place to live, a wonderful job, a car, new friends, a bright outlook on what’s to come, and confidence that no matter how bleak things seem, it’s possible to turn your life around with a little bit of hard work and optimism. I now have a pep in my step and I’m ready for whatever crazy events life has to throw at me.

Sometimes, despite anything that’s going wrong in my life, I stop and remember that there’s more good coming. And I can’t help but to smile.

Just a grab bag of emotions today, but mostly good. I pulled my final all-nighter of the semester last evening. It’s crazy to think that in just four days’ time I will be somewhere else in the world for a very long three months. I have an aged world map that curls at the edges and the creases are delicate and the entire thing smells like the past. I want to hang it on the wall and poke pins into the places I’ve visited. I want to travel lightly this summer and make good money. I want to be reckless and be carefree and fall in love and write someone’s name in the sand. I want to write a letter to a dear friend and surprise them with a visit. I want to sit around a campfire by the lake with my closest friends and talk and laugh until the ashes glow red and orange and the marshmallows have all been roasted. I’ve been thinking very romantically lately.

I don’t think about you as often these days. I don’t feel my phone vibrate and hope it’s you asking me how I’m doing. I still check your facebook to know that you’re doing well, but I don’t get upset when we don’t talk for a day or two at a time. I don’t daydream about a future us or a past us or an us at all, really. But I will miss you when I’m hundreds of miles away.

I want to listen to poppy music and enjoy the life that has treated me so well. I want to feel the cat purring against my leg in the middle of the night and see the stars shining outside and swim in the middle of the night. I want to feel the breeze on my face and maybe fly a cheap kite and eat an ice cream cone and ride a bike. I want to see your face and your face and your face, too, because I’ve hardly seen it since high school. I want to bask in nostalgia and go on adventures and feel good and enjoy the world.

Yeah so I think Hannah Montana said this once before, but I don’t know what her tumblr link is so I’m gonna go ahead and credit myself. Anyway, life is what you make it. Smile until your cheeks hurt. Make a fool out of yourself to make someone else laugh. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. Make a new friend. Be spontaneous. ‘Cause in the end, every little thing is gonna be alright.

This weekend I was once again reminded that I have a lot to be thankful for.

I volunteered feeding breakfast to the homeless in Dallas as I have so many early Saturday mornings while I’ve been here. It’s a really rewarding feeling to know that you’ve had a beneficial impact on the community in which you live. We fed over two hundred and eighty hungry people, including small children.

Then I went to Fort Worth for their annual art festival and got the meet some incredibly talented artists. It was really inspiring to get to talk to these people from all over the US and shake the hands that have created magnificent works of art. The art I saw was proof that enough motivation, talent, and dedication toward anything can lead to something rewarding. Then a friend and I went to PF Chang’s and the manager, for some reason, was kind enough to take twenty dollars off our bill! What luck! And to top that off, I received a call from a store in the mall offering me a job.

I finished my day back in Denton, where my school is. Some students living in my dorm formed a Relay for Life team, raising and contributing over $500 to cancer research. During my time at the event I met some cancer survivors, caregivers, and saw lots of people whose lives were affected by cancer in one way or another.

And that’s how I spent my Saturday. It was nothing glamorous, and I realize that. But it was plenty more than lots of people get to do in a day and for that I’m thankful. The most beautiful part about it, however, was seeing so many people from three different communities in three different cities. Seeing them come together and celebrating life.

I promise to celebrate life.

But I know things are gonna get better. And I know that things are gonna be fine.